Saint George

 

Children in Church By Joan Woodward Teebagy

By regular attendance in church, children learn and notice more than we will ever know and this knowledge and habits will become a reality and a part of their existence in the longer term. One parent, I was recently speaking to, admitted that she thought that she would be the last person to say children should be at Divine Liturgy rather than Church School. She has noticed that her children have learned so much during their time in church, have become used to the length of the service, and have made observations and asked questions about what they see and hear. However, it is not without a great deal of effort and patience on the parent’s part. Following are some suggestions that will help you with your little children as you make the life of Christ and His Church part of their life.
Sit as close to the front as possible. Children need to see what is happening. This also helps with their attention and eventual understanding of the service. You may feel uncomfortable doing this, thinking your children will be a distraction to adults. Please don’t. It is the children’s job to learn how to be a part of the Divine Liturgy at their level, and it is the adult’s job to be tolerant of this learning process and not expect children to be adults. (Look around and see some of the adult behaviors, such as talking. This is more of a distraction to priests than a child’s “holy noise.”) Don’t expect young children to sit still for the whole service or stay quiet. This is unrealistic and counter-productive. I never say to my young children “Don’t talk” but rather “Whisper.” Movement can be restricted but not prohibited. My two and a half year old can move around a little bit more and sit on the floor while my five year old is expected to sit on the pew and stand with minimum of movement.
Bring materials for the children. This can be children’s liturgy books, picture books, crayons, and small snacks. Let the children know what is acceptable and what is not - this will change as the children get older. As children learn to read, an illustrated Divine Liturgy book may be sufficient. Don’t overdo on activities.
Prepare your children for the Liturgy. Try to read the Gospel reading for the day to your children on Saturday night. Explain to the children that they will hear this in church and have them listen for key words during the Gospel. Have children prepare an offering envelope that they can place in the collection baskets. Children as young as two can recite the Lord’s Prayer. Teach it to your children and encourage them to recite it during church. Teaching your children certain routines such as lighting a candle before church, watching for the Little and Great Entrances, listening to the Gospel, receiving Holy Communion on a weekly basis, reciting the Lord’s Prayer, etc., not only breaks down the service so it is manageable for young children but also teaches them a lot about the Divine Liturgy itself. (Your children will surprise you with their own observations and habits as my two year old daughter has, who, without any coaxing, crosses herself at every “Father, Son and Holy Spirit” and who sings “Alleluia” and “Lord Have Mercy” - this from a child who is described as the “wild” one of the family.) As your children grow older, expect and teach more. If you do not know enough about the Liturgy to teach it to your children, find out. What a great opportunity to enhance your own spiritual life. As your children grow older, encourage them to participate in the Divine Liturgy and the life of the community by singing in the choir and serving in the altar.
Ignore comments that belittle your effort to make your children part of the church life. People who make these comments about behavior of children have little understanding of what the Church is about or Christ’s acceptance and welcome of little children. I have found that my tolerance level is lower and my children’s behavior appears to be worse when I am more concerned about what people are thinking rather than concentrating on encouraging my children during the Divine Liturgy. Don’t let “bad” days discourage you. Evaluate what has happened, change expectations if necessary and try again. You are not alone, so seek advice from other parents as well.
Make the Church an important part of your life. Pray at home, read the scriptures, and involve your children in good works. Your own spiritual strength will also give you that extra strength to tolerate those less than perfect but child-like behaviors in church, and to bring your children on a regular basis to the Liturgy, even during those summer months when there is no Church School. Parents who bring their children just to Church School, whether it is before or after church, do not realize that the real class is IN CHURCH. The other class is only a reinforcement. It is only an enrichment of what is being taught at home and what is being absorbed through all five senses in church.
Attend extra services with your children. Make an effort to attend other special services with your children. Although it is not always possible with young children to attend all the services during Lent, attending a few extra services including Presanctified Liturgies, special Divine Liturgies and Akathist exposes the children to the cycle of services. Again, learn about these services and prepare your children to know what they will see and hear.
Reprinted in part from OCEC News, Vol. 16, No. 1, Aug 1995