The Sacrament of Marriage
Through the sacrament of marriage the Orthodox church joins a man and woman in the sacred union of husband and wife. During the ceremony they commit themselves to one another and to raising a Christian family in a Christian home. God, in turn, bestows his love (agape) on them that they may live in harmony and peace for life. The service consists of beautiful hymns and prayers extolling marriage and emphasizing its responsibilities.
The service is conducted around a small table on which wedding crowns, the book of Gospels, two wedding rings, a cup of wine, and two white candles have been placed. These objects are used symbolically throughout the service.
The Betrothal Blessing of the Rings
In the first part of the service, the couple becomes betrothed by the church. The priest blesses the rings and touches the foreheads of the bride and groom with them. Making the sign of the cross above their heads with the rings, he proclaims to each of them, The servant of God [name] is betrothed to the servant of God [name] in the name of the Father , and the Son, and the Holy spirit. The rings are put on the right hands, and the official sponsor koumbaros (male) or koumbara (female) exchanges the rings three times, symbolizing the complimentary role of husband and wife.
The Wedding
The Candles
The bride and groom each hold a lighted candle during the service, similar to a parable in the Bible where five wise maidens prepare to receive Christ the Bridegroom by lighting their lamps with oil. The candles remind the couple of the light of Christ who is with them throughout the sacrament and their coming life together.
Joining of Hands
The couple joins right hands as the priest appeals to God to make them one in sprit and flesh and grant them the joy of children.
The Crowning
Crowns (stephana) joined with a ribbon are worn by the bride and groom who are to be respected as king and queen in their home and family. As this crowing takes place, the blessing of God is invoked upon the couple. O, Lord our God, crown them with honor and glory. As these words are sung, the koumbaros/a exchanges the crowns three times.
The Readings
There are two designated readings from the scriptures. In the epistle of St. Paul to the Ephesians, Paul talks of love and respect. The husband should love his wife and be prepared to give his life to protect her as Christ gave his life out of love for the church. The wife should respect her husband as the church honors and respects Christ and should submit herself to him. The second reading from the Gospel of St. John relates the story of Christ at the wedding of Cana of Galilee and his miracle of changing water into wine.
The Common Cup
Just as wine was drunk at the wedding of Cana, the bride and groom share a common cup of unconsecrated wine, symbolizing the sharing of all that life will bring the joys, sorrows, love, and pain.
The Dance of Isaiah
Led by the priest, the couple circles the small table while wearing their crown and holding hands. The koumbaros/a follows them, holding the ribbon that joins the crowns. The dance proclaims the prophet In Greece, guests shower the couple with rose petals and rice during the dance.
Near the end of the ceremony, the priest removes the crowns, charging the newlyweds: Be magnified, O bridegroom, as Abraham, and blessed as Isaac, and increased as was Jacob. Go you way in peace, performing in righteousness the commandments of God. And you, O bride, be magnified as was Sarah, and rejoiced as was Rebecca, and increased as Rachel, being glad in your husband, keeping the paths of the law, for so God is well pleased.
The bride and the groom are proclaimed as husband and wife, at the conclusion of the service. Just before the crowns are removed from their heads, the priest involkes God's blessing once more,: O Lord, bless these your servants who , by your providence, are now joined in the communion of marriage.
[end of ceremony]
Marriage Crowns
The crowing of the bride and groom during the church ceremony is a highlight of the Orthodox service.
In most instance, the kourbaros/a provides the sephana. Selection of the sephana is a matter of personal choice. Some koumbari buy the crows without consulting the bride and groom. Others may go with the bride to the specialty shop and make the selection together.
Crown syles change frequently. The church requires only that they be round and joined together my ribbon. Tradional crowns are delicate and simple, a weaving of white wax flowers with beading and white leaves, linked together with a white satin ribbon. They may be purchased through a Greek specialty store, a catalog, in Greece, or from an individuaol who makes them. Elaborate crowns are becoming more common, featuring intricate beading or metal work with designs that match the brideÕs gown. These can be quite expensive and are not necessary. Some couples use their parents stephana, but most have their own for permanent display at home.
Put the stephana on top of a tray covered with a single layer of koufeta and rice. The priest places the tray on a small table at the front of the church for the ceremony. The tray, usually the wedding gift from the koumbaros/a to the couple, is traditionally made of silver and may include a tea and coffee service. This is changing, however, and less formal trays as mirrored vanity sets and serving pieces make suitable wedding presents.
Candles
Decorating candles is optional. These may be prepared at a Greek specialty store or make by tying large bows with streamers on the candles and attaching artificial flowers to them.
Gratuities
The koumbaros/a customarily thanks the priest, chanter, and sexton for their services with a gratuity. Amounts vary with each parish.
Communion
It
is suggested the couple take communion the Sunday before the wedding,
each in his or her respective church if one of the partners in not Orthodox. Commuion
is not given during the ceremony. The
bride and groom drink wine from a common cup to commemorate the biblical
wedding in Cana.
Preserving the Marriage Crowns
The stephana are one of the most important symbols of the marriage. They remind the newlyweds that they are united in their own kingdom with the blessing of God, and they have a chance to build their own home and family together.The crows deserve to be properly preserved. Place the crowns in the home ikonostast or in a special case called a stephanothiki.
The case, handmade or purchased through a Greek specialty store or catalog, may be round, rectangular, or octagonal, made of wood with a glass front. Some contain and electric light and an icon of the Virgin Mary inside. Keep the stephanothiki by the ikonostdsi or above the marriage bed.
(From the book, Greek Traditions and Customs by Marilyn Rouvelas)
